I might have mentioned this in a previous post, but I'm finally about two pounds under the weight I was when I started dieting, which was about nine years ago.

How sick is it that I started dieting when I was fourteen?

If I could go back and talk to my former, adolescent self, I would tell her be happy with her body. I would warn her that years of dieting would damage her self-esteem and her metabolism. I would tell her that I would eventually gain almost 70 pounds, just because every failed diet leads to months of bingeing.

My body isn't perfect now. I still have a while to go until I get down to my "goal weight". But,  I know that I have come so far. I look and feel so much better. I am happy here.

More importantly, I am happy with who I am as a person. I feel like I've changed so much over the past few years. And that is more important than what size I wear or what number flashed back at me when I step on the scale.

My biggest regret is that I wasted so much of my time feeling bad about myself.

This is the first summer in a long time where I've actually felt comfortable wearing shorts and tank tops in public. But why? Why did I spend every other summer over the past nine years wearing clothes that were too hot and uncomfortable? So other people wouldn't see my thunder things, or arm fat?

Who was I kidding?

I've made a promise to be more gentle with myself, and to accept my self for who I am.

And I'm so much happier because of it!